Spent a fabulous weekend with old girldfirends (and when I say old – I mean OLD…we are all celebrating our 50th this year!) at Stinson beach….One long walk on the beach and BAM – I get reflective…

This time I was reflecting on services, companies, non profits, etc.. that have made a difference in my life and community. I want to pass on some recommendations….

Lane Apex – Local, cheaper and they pick up recycling every week!

NextStep Recycling – An amazing group of green, community minded, generous, smart people who are saving our environment, educating kids, providing job skill training among other things…

Yumm Sauce – what can I say? Yumm!

Modern Family – LMAO (OK, it might not actually make your life better but you WILL laugh!)

Search Engine Friendly Web Design – Sammy rocks and is the King of WordPress Sites (if you like mine, call him!)

South Willamette Wineries Association – OK, they’re a client. Shameless plug…but honestly we have such fabulous wineries with such amazing owners and winemakers in our beautiful valley! (And yes, Sammy built the site)

Dr. Natura Colonix & Toxinout Program – Been on it for a month and plan to run the three month program. Feel better! (NOT a client- not paid to endorse)

Yurt Camping – I’m addicted (in the winter). Camp every month if I can…Love it! Heading to Silver Falls first weekend in Feb.

Facebook – seriously. I love Facebook. I love it for business and I love it because it made planning my 30th High School Reunion a breeze (and enabled me to stay in touch with lots and lots of people!).

Become a Homestay Family! We love our Chinese “son” – a U of O student who lives with us. For more information about becoming a Homestay Family shoot me an email!

That’s it for now….Hoping your new year has started out peacefully and prosperously!

Denise

“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store? What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more?” Theodor Seuss Geisel

What the Grinch ALMOST figured out is that Thanksgiving is the ultimate holiday. Thanksgiving is Christmas without going into massive debt buying gifts. It takes the best part of Christmas (family) and takes out the pressure of buying the perfect gift…

Seems I hit a nerve with some folks with my first (brief) post about hating Christmas. People who know me well simply didn’t believe it – How could someone who loves her kids, her husband, family, puppies and babies for Chrissake, HATE Christmas? How is it that a person who volunteers in her community, cries (OK, bawls) while watching Extreme Home Makeover (OK, I start crying during the trailers) possibly hate Christmas? Here’s why:

My palms are sweaty, I am suddenly feeling behind and inadequate and I realize that yes, this is my “Christmas feeling” (It must be October). I am not overcome by romantic notions of chestnuts roasting nor the happy faces of children who really do believe in the magic of Santa…but rather by a loathing towards a season that is too long, too false, too commercialized and just simply too much for me. So yes, I guess I do hate Christmas! Or at least some things about Christmas…

5 Reasons why I hate Christmas:

1. Christmas Cards – I love getting them, but also feel like a complete failure that mine don’t ever get out before Valentines Day. What a loser.

2. Christmas Trees – Love the smell, hate the needles. I have begged for an artificial tree for years but am threatened with divorce, being cut out of mom’s will and disowned by my kids. Great. Do they deal with the fear of a massive fire (our tree is always completely dry by December 5th), do they vacuum? Do they deal with the damn thing when the dog knocks it over…no, that would be me.

3. Christmas Greed – The most adorable, well behaved kids turn into greedy little monsters during this time of year. My nine year old, who appreciates a pack of gum to the depths of his soul (really, mom? can you afford it???) suddenly thinks he should get a DSI, a laptop and an iPad from “Santa” – WTF?

4. Christmas Shopping – This is the worst of it..Christmas displays at Target in September. Seriously? You can’t wait unitl December 1st? 3 weeks isn’t enough time to make us feel like shit because we can’t afford a gift for all 27 people in our family, 10 at the office, the stupid exchange at church and, oh ya – THE KIDS? They even have filled stockings at PetSmart – more guilt.

5. Christmas Credit Card Hangover – I start this pleasant feeling around Halloween – and I haven’t even shopped yet! God help me.

So if there is something that you hate about Christmas and have always wanted to share your feelings – here’s your chance.

These things I know for SURE:

Everyone should be able to marry the person they love, regardless of race, sexual orientation, or religious beliefs.

My children have the ability to provide me with the greatest joy I have ever know  and the deepest pain I have ever known.

I never hate people but their actions; I know by hating a person I may be stuck with that person forever emotionally; so, I let go and move on, forgiving but not looking to become a target twice.

When I give without expectation or acknowledgment I am happy

Don’t wear T-shirts with silly sayings; they just make you look tacky.

There is no such thing as perfect. Perfection is unattainable.

The best antidote to fear is action.

You can’t fake integrity.

I don’t need bread to survive.

Or sugar.

It’s really OK to have a bad day – to crawl back into bed and just be alone.

I’m a great mom.

I’m a pretty good wife.

I’m a terrific friend almost always.

What do you know for sure?

Turns out brevity is in….who knew? I’ve been too busy to write a meaningful post so I just disappeared for a time – a big bad blogging no-no!

I met Chris Brogan last week at the 2010 Communication Conference in Portland and, although I learned more than just this golden nugget, I did write this down - “Brevity! Text with value”

Wow – what freedom, permission to be brief!  – from one of my favorite bloggers, no less!

So here we go – “texting with value” – determining what consitutes “value” can be elusive…My “winery” followers will find value in knowing when a new release from one of our South Willamette Wineries is rolling out. A Social Media Markerter will find value in a report on the conference, perhaps…and my closer acquaintances/friends seem to enjoy my more personal posts and anecdotes….

Today I am going to write about “growing bigger ears” (another classic “Broganian”). We all need bigger and BETTER ears! I’m in the process of learning an extremely painful lesson right now. I’ve just discovered why my 18 year old daughter thinks I don’t “listen” to her. Our relationship has suffered some deep wounds due to communication issues.  How ironic, and tragic, since I’m in the communication business!  I realized that I had the wrong filters turned on when trying to communicate with my daughter. I listen with my “mom” filters – my “48 year old” filters and my “female” filters….So when I respond I do so with concern, advice, etc – not what she needs or wants. I have to find a way to listen to her (and HEAR what she is saying) without those filters….A tall order to be sure but I am committed to trying.

What are your filters?

Are you a parent? How old are you? What sex are you? What’s your position – friend? colleague? lover?

All of those things will skew the way the information is received – do you agree?

I’m growing bigger, and better ears – Any advice?

I am so inspired by my fabulous mom/women pals who toil away everyday both at work and at home. This post is to honor their 90 hour weeks, senses of humor, hilarious anecdotes, nurturing spirits and all around awesomeness!

Some of my heroes are:

Cybele Ryan, mother of three, restaurant manager and best friend to Jeff (Ryan). This woman has weathered unimaginable storms over the last 20 years – always holding onto her humor strength and integrity. The loss of her son inspired her to reach out to other parents suffering that immeasurable grief (HAND). Raising 3 daughters has been mostly joyful interspersed with frustration and downright agony (I can SO relate). Cybele is a writer, an artist, a thoughtful listener, and engaged activist – she is truly the whole package! Cybele and I have been brownie troop leaders together, Bobby Sox moms, soccer moms  – and even had our daughters 9 hours apart (AND named them both Taylor…story for another day). One of my favorite memories was 8 years ago when we threw the girls a double B-day party – SPICE GIRLS!!! Cybele’s mom had a direct connection to Emma Bunton (baby spice) and Emma was nice enough to call the girls during the party from London. Pretty cool!

Stephanie Griffin, mother of two and, as a matter of fact, yes she is a rocket scientist! An engineer at Lockheed Martin, Stephanie’s career is admirable and important. Along with that full time gig she never misses a basketball game (has the hotel thing down to a science) for her immensely talented basketball star of a kid, Kayla (NCAA Cal Poly Mustangs) – even during tax season when hubby John is MIA (yep, tax accountant). She’s my California camping buddy (I miss those days!), fellow brownie troop leader and birthday party partner. She’s got two kids in college now  so maybe life will slow down a tad for her (yeah, right!)

Anne Marie Levis - a master juggler. Whether it’s managing the growing company (Wildly successful Ad Agency here in Eugene, Funk/Levis), volunteering on numerous boards or serving on the City Planning Commission, or, most recently her position on the 4J school Board she never drops a ball. Add her number one priority, her family, and she’s quite possibly eligible for Superhero status. Her husband, Dana, and adorable boys, Connor and Dylan agree. What astounds me most about Anne Marie is the ease and grace with which she tackles her multitude of projects.

Sandy Kauten – Sandy, a single mom, moved to Eugene from Sacramento to attend Dental Hygiene School and found a copy of Oregon Family Calendar at a local retailer. Her entrepreneurial spirit got the best of her and before she knew it, she was a newspaper publisher! Sandy renamed the publication Oregon Family Newspaper and focused her efforts on creating a more comprehensive resource for parents and families. Today the paper remains a source of pride for Sandy and her boys – her advertisers are “family” and she is devoted to creating a place that is a joy for both her readers and her many business supporters. Sandy is an amzing mom and friend and camping partner!

Michelle Obama (no brainer)…When I talk to people about Michelle Obama, which I do often, they inevitably respond positively. She’s gorgeous, strong, brilliant, accomplished, an inspiration, they say. They talk about how her life story exemplifies the American dream. They say we could be girlfriends – which is so telling. I think it’s true. When I see her digging in the organic garden she planted with her kids (encouraging all Americans to eat healthy)  or warmly greeting the Queen of England (remember that amazing moment where she gently placed her hand on the mum’s back – you go girl!) I truly believe this is a woman I could sit down and chat with. Yes I said “chat”. Michelle definitely makes my list of amazing women.

Send me your mom/women heroes! I want to honor all the fabulous Momtrepeueurs in your world!!

Did you know that October is National Work and Family Month?

On Oct. 14, 2009, both the U.S. House and the U.S. Senate approved resolutions declaring October National Work and Family Month. Both resolutions were approved unanimously.

Dedicating a month to work and family issues encourages all workplaces to pause once a year and reflect on the progress already made on the journey to work-life effectiveness, to celebrate and then raise the bar moving on to even more pervasive progress.

The month is quickly coming to an end (can’t believe Halloween is already upon us!) and I almost missed National Work and Family month! Glad I stumbled upon Working Moms Against Guilt blog on twitter today (http://www.workingmomsagainstguilt.com/).

I moved my office home 6 months ago. At first I thought that it has really helped with that “balance” thing, after all, I had more time to work, do the laundry, clean the house, take care of the yard,  and I get to see Chase more…that’s balance, right? I love working at home because I can stay on top of ALL my responsibilities, but do I have balance?  Maybe not on a day-to-day basis, but overall I think I’ve done a good job at infusing my busy schedule with fun. For instance, I camp with my friend Sandy and her kids almost every month of the year. I am great at skipping out for a long weekend. I make time for girlfriends too – as often as I can – it’s my fuel! I developed Fridays at Five as a way to step out of my day-to-day regime, have a little fun and still call it work (clever girl, huh?) All in all, I feel pretty balanced….Now if I could find the discipline to add “me Time” (ie the gym)…sigh. That one’s on me….

So, perhaps this month is about not only finding the balance between work and family, but also between work, family and fun (for me work and family is really work and work). I think it should be called National Work and Family and Fun month!

So, what can you do for your personal work/life balance during National Work & Family Month and FOREVER?

Resources:

Mom Blog

WorkingMother.com

The big question out there in the blogosphere seems to be whether to blog about what people are interested in or to blog about what YOU are interested in?? This has been tough for me since I am very social and am truly interested in what everyone else is interested in….but that doesn’t necessarily translate to an ability write about those topics. So I started this blog as more or less a supplement to my website. Now I am hating that idea. Why would I want to re-write the content of my website on a blog…duh. Dumb idea. And, more to the point – who the heck would want to read it?

So now I find myself writing about a lot of personal stuff ( see blog post from Sunday). I am definitely passionate about that. But I am also passionate about my industry, my clients and the trends that are causing such a “twitter” (pun intended) in the media world.

So here’s the deal – a compromise is in order…a little of this….a little of that – how does that sound?
I’m going to talk about -

Appreciation…

Those are two of my favorite people…My husband, Ken and our son Chase…I have recently had a major attitude shift, an epiphany of sorts. I am so grateful for this and owe it largely to the sweet little old couple that walk silently, hand in hand, in my neighborhood. They don’t look a day under 90! I was lamenting one morning, as I watched them slowly trudge up our hill, about not having “that” – I decided then and there that THAT was what marriage was supposed to be, dammit, and I wasn’t getting it! Then I went down my “what I’m not getting” list and made a mental check next to a whole bunch of stupid petty (seemingly HUGE) items…

I am in a reflective mood this Sunday morning as I sit here both missing and rejoicing in my daughter’s newest life adventure: college. I, like millions of parents across the country, am wondering where the time went?? And to think a few weeks ago I was alternately counting the days until she would leave and wondering how I was going to survive the loss.
Taylor and I had our biggest fight 6 days before we were to pull out of our driveway in Eugene Oregon heading for LA….She had one foot out the door and I was holding on tight. Sigh…. I don’t have any regrets, but it was quite a somber experience. I won’t go into detail, but I wonder if other parents out there experienced the same thing? Tay and I get along great, always have. She was the EASIEST teenager on the planet….didn’t stress about clothes or boys (she’s gay, as it turns out) or spend hours on the computer or phone. She is a good student and a happy person. Proud mom? You bet.
Then she suddenly grew up on me. I mean, really grew up! It was what I needed to see and feared.

When she came to us a year ago having firmly decided on Whittier College we told her if she wanted to go to a school that (ahem) expensive, she would have to pay her own way. If she wanted to got to the U of O, we’d help and if she chose to go to Lane Community College – we’d pay AND buy her a car! We also told her that she would have to show us that she could handle the basic necessities of life (do her own laundry, feed herself, etc). My husband and I were of little faith (sorry, Tay) and I’ll be darned if she didn’t pull it off with honors! Really – this kid, smart but a little lazy, kicked it into high gear and secured scholarships, grants, work study to the tune of 44K!!! And yes, she did laundry on Sunday and made sure she left the house everyday with food and snacks to carry her through her busy schedule.

Each year, more than two million students begin a new phase of their lives as they enter college.
The coming year will be filled with excitement, joy, fear, pain, anticipation, and discovery for you
and your student. While no one can predict what your student’s college experience will bring,
here are a few suggestions that will help you adjust during your student’s years in college.

Expect change
Your student will change. It will happen either dramatically within the first months,
slowly over the college years, or somewhere in between. It’s natural, inevitable, and can
be inspiring and beautiful; though change can be difficult, too. College, and all the
experiences surrounding it, affect changes in a student’s social, vocational, and personal
behavior. You can’t stop the change and growth. You may not understand it, but it is
within your power to accept it.
Remember that your student will basically remain the same person that you sent away
to college, aside from interests and experiences. The changes he or she will experience
are part of a maturation process that doesn’t happen immediately.

Remember, it takes time to adjust
The first few days and weeks at school are packed with new experiences. The
challenges of meeting new people and adjusting to unfamiliar situations take a lot of
time and energy. The transition to a new environment may seem overwhelming to your
student. There may be moments when they long for the tried and true life they have left
behind. Still, most students adapt well to their new environment, and in time, will
become used to the new “norm.”

Write (even if they don’t write back)
While it may seem that your student is eager to embrace the independence that
accompanies college, most students are still anxious for family ties and the security
those ties bring. Some family members may misinterpret the quest for independence as
rejection. Many students would give anything for news from home and family, however
boring that news may seem to you.
There is nothing more depressing than an empty mailbox, so write or send e-mail. Don’t
expect a reply to every letter you write—be prepared for unanswered correspondence.

College students are eager to establish their independence and often resent interference
with their new-found lifestyles. Still, some desire the security of knowing their family is
still interested in them.

depending on the attitudes of the persons involved. Questions marked with “I have a
right to know” feelings, ulterior motives, and nagging can be harmful. However, honest
inquiries and other “between friends” communication and discussion will most likely
enhance the family-student relationship.

Visit (but not too often)
Visits by family (especially when accompanied by shopping sprees and/or dinners) are
another favored part of the college experience. These visits are a nice time for family
members to become acquainted with, and to gain an understanding of, their students’
new activities, commitments and friends. However, spur-of-the-moment “surprises” are
usually not appreciated; pre-emption of a planned weekend of studying or other
activities can have disastrous results.
Expect and encourage students not to come home every weekend. Spending time on
campus is one of the best ways to make friends.

Call (but not everyday)
Some students, especially at the beginning of their college career, will call you with all
sorts of questions, maybe several times a day. Questions range from how to do laundry
and how to pay tuition, to advice about a roommate situation. Communication is good,
but try to limit telephone calls to no more than once per day. When you do talk to your
student, rather than telling your student what to do, ask questions like, “Who could you
talk to on campus about this problem?” Encouraging independent decision making is an
important skill developed in college.

Don’t say “These are the best years of your life”
At times, your student’s college years will be filled with indecision, insecurity,
disappointment, and mistakes. They will also be full of discovery, inspiration, good
times, and best friends. But, it’s not always the good that stands out. Your student may
not agree that these are “the best years” while he or she is suffering with the trials and
tribulations of adjusting to a new environment. A great deal of pressure can be placed
on students to always appear to be having “the time of their lives.”
Any parent who believes that all college students get good grades, know what they want
to major in, always have activity-packed weekends, have hundreds of close friends, and
lead carefree lives is wrong. So are the parents who think that “college-educated” means
“mistake-proof.” Those who accept and understand the highs and lows of their student’s
reality can help provide the necessary support and encouragement.

Trust them!
Self-discovery and the transition into adulthood are difficult enough tasks without
feeling that the people whose opinions you respect the most are second-guessing you.
You and your student may have differences of opinion. It is important to realize that
these differences are not a battle between right and wrong; rather, they should be
thought of as different points of view. It is vitally important that your student knows
you love, respect, and are supportive of him or her. Your relationship and the college
years will be better for it.

I recently had a medical scare, which never ever happens to me. I have been in the hospital three times (coincidentally I have three children). I don’t have a primary care physician because I have never needed one. I don’t go to the doctor. I see a GYN once a year for that wonderful annual experience that we women love so dearly and for my mammo. I am NOT a burden to the health care system.I never thought about it until now but I guess I am proud of that.
SO Sunday I find myself in the emergency room, hooked up to an IV, morphine blissfully easing the abdominal pain I am experiencing. A very uncomfortable CT scan later, there is no evidence of anything horrible. No appendicitis, no pancreatitis, tumors or anything serious like that. Apparently a cyst on my ovary had ruptured causing enormous pain but something I will recover from without any evasive procedures. Whew!

So now I am reflecting on how I view this body of mine. Not very well. I take it for granted at a minimum. Worse, I tell myself that I hate it. I do. I say that to myself all the time. This body that shows up day after day and serves me without pain or illness….I hate it because the shape is wrong. How absurd. I am turning a new leaf. It’s time to have gratitude for a perfect body.

Why Are So Many Women Dissatisfied with Their Bodies?

How many women do you know who think their bodies are just fine the way they are? The sad fact is that we live in a world in which it has become normal for women to dislike their bodies, a world in which even healthy eight-year-old girls may worry about their size and shape.

This body has delivered 3 healthy beautiful babies, walked 60 miles for Breast Cancer, run a half marathon for Leukemia Lymphoma, carried hurt children to the car, lifted, pushed, crawled, jumped, skipped, hopped, run and walked on command.

It’s time for a little appreciation! It is my intention to love my body – to reward it for all it has given me by taking better care of it. I will drop the extra 30 pounds I have forced it to carry for the last couple of years. How unfair is that!

Anyone care to join me?